panic attack

  Between all the election jibber-jabber, the slow growing economy, and the Chinese taking over, an interesting article came along by Kate Bolick in The Atlantic. Probably a lot of you have already read All the Single Ladies, but if you haven't, definitely worth the read.  It's a long piece, but very well researched.

So why am I talking about this?

This is from the first few paragraphs of the article:

In 2001, when I was 28, I broke up with my boyfriend. Allan and I had been together for three years, and there was no good reason to end things. He was (and remains) an exceptional person, intelligent, good-looking, loyal, kind. My friends, many of whom were married or in marriage-track relationships, were bewildered. I was bewildered. To account for my behavior, all I had were two intangible yet undeniable convictions: something was missing; I wasn’t ready to settle down.

...On good days, I felt secure that I’d done the right thing. Learning to be alone would make me a better person, and eventually a better partner. On bad days, I feared I would be alone forever. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life? 

Ten years later, I occasionally ask myself the same question. Today I am 39, with too many ex-boyfriends to count and, I am told, two grim-seeming options to face down: either stay single or settle for a “good enough” mate. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. A decade ago, luck didn’t even cross my mind. I’d been in love before, and I’d be in love again. This wasn’t hubris so much as naïveté; I’d had serious, long-term boyfriends since my freshman year of high school, and simply couldn’t envision my life any differently. 

I almost hyperventilated after reading the entire article.  That could be me.

Apparently, the unconventional choices in life may have some unconventional endings as well. 

The thought of living in solidarity or in a place where there are a lot of supportive single women also made my hyperventilate.  I can barely live with one other female, let alone a group all nearby.  In recent years as an adult, I have been surrounded by mostly men.  Engineering school, grad school in engineering again, all the older generation acousticians, and of course, all the climbers.  Is this, in someways, also unconventional?

While I was in Yosemite, I met two hard-core female climbers on the East Buttress of Middle Cathedral.  In chatting with one of them, I told her about how little I climbed with other female climbers.  I could tell, that she probably climbs mostly with other female climbers.  She said that it was inspiring to climb with other female climbers, especially strong ones.  I can imagine that climbing with a female partner can create a more supportive role than climbing with a male partner if the male partner is significantly stronger.  I definitely would want to find more female buddies to test it out.  I honestly think that what is important is the personality and less the gender.  But I'll have to find out.

And I digress, always talking about climbing.  Even on a post that was meant to be about something else.

Back to the hyperventilating.

I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE THAT LONG!  WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO ME?  I screamed through GChat to Reid, who first posted the article up on FB.

Don't worry about it.  It should be inspiring to you.  I don't remember the exact words, but that is basically what he said to me.  He was not amused by my reaction. 

Only after a few weeks, after I've had more time to calm myself down and stop having nightmares, was I able to put some thoughts down for this post.  Okay, it wasn't that bad, but I did think about it for a bit after reading it.  Plus I was busy climbing outside.  Work was a bit chaotic.  All the reasons for not writing another post sooner.

He is right though, what are the chances.  I go to a meat market about twice a week.  Where there are TONS of single men and women wearing very little.  Right?

Don't shit where you eat.  Brian told me today on GChat in reference to dating people from the gym.  

And Brian is right too.  I have eaten my own crap before.  It was pretty terrible.  It was even more terrible when friends of yours feed more of your own crap to you. 

But without some risk, there won't be any reward.  So I'm willing to take a gamble and maybe eat and shit at the same time. 





Stop freaking out, really.

We survived Yosemite! - Part 4

We were heading towards the right side of this big thing...

Following our rest day, Max and I were aiming to do the East Buttress of El Cap.  While this is not a 5-star climb like the other E. Butt we did a few days before, it's an extremely popular route due to the fact that one can summit El Cap in a relatively short free climb.  The climb is 13 pitches, noted as more difficult than the other E. Butt.

Team Biskrem was also aiming for this climb on the same day.  We didn't get to talk to them the night before to plan it out though, so we weren't for sure whether they were going to climb it or  not.  They had gone to Toulemne for two days while we stayed around the valley.

We got up even earlier that day.  I think it was 4:30AM or so, so that we could leave the campsite at 5:00.  Team Weneedananny were getting up early also to climb and be back for baby Autumn at noon.  They dropped us off at the base of our climb and headed over to do Central Pillar of Frenzy.

It was pitch dark, and we progressed up the talus field with our headlamps.  The approach was going to take at least an hour, similar to the approach on Cannon in the Whites.  During our hike, we could see some headlamps on El Cap.  There were people up already, looks like on the Dawn Wall.  Before the sun came up, we heard a loud swooshing noise.  I looked up, and there were two parachutes open right on top of us, heading towards the valley.  They were climbers that BASE jumped on the descent.  Maybe it was Dean Potter?  That would be pretty impressive.

Then suddenly, at dawn, the light gently glows on the side of El Cap that we were heading towards.  The air was still chilly, but it brings hope of some warmth.  It was truly a beautiful and peaceful time of the day.

With the sun filtering into the valley, I started sweating under my layers of clothes.  But at least now I can hike the talus field without using my headlamp.  As I was about to turn off my headlamp, I looked up at the cliff that we were approaching.  It was near the Zodiac climb, and we had to cut more to the right once we hit the bottom of the cliff.  Max was about 50 ft. ahead of me, cutting more towards the right already.

I suddenly heard an unfamiliar low rumble noise.  With sheer luck, I looked up at the right spot on the 3000 ft. tall cliff, and saw a piece of rock the size of a piano (it looked sort of like a roof) peeling off the cliff.  It may actually be bigger than that, because it's hard to judge the size of anything with El Cap in the background.

ROCK!  I shouted, just in time for both Max and I to react and dive to the closest place to hide.  He jumped to a tree, and I hid under a really large boulder.  I seriously didn't know what else to do at that point.  Upon impact to the ground, the rock triggered enough of a shock to the talus field that it sent an avalanche of rocks down the area directly below it.  It kept going down until it hit the flat part of the hike, basically to the parking lot.  Lucky for us, we were not directly under the path of the rock avalanche.  But we could definitely feel the dust from the slide, as well as the earth trembling.

We escaped death by about 50 feet.

Are you guys okay?  A voice asked from above.

It wasn't God - just some dude on the Dawn Wall.  But we were glad that there were other witnesses there in case something did happen to us.

We decided to keep going for the East Buttress climb, but both of us were shocked from the rockfall.
Since that morning, for the rest of the trip we would have PTSD symptoms every time we heard a loud bang, even at the campsite.

By the time we got to the base of the climb, there was unfortunately a line of people.  To be exact, we were party No. 6 or 7.  A bunch of people must have all gotten there within 30 minutes of each other.  There was one party that got there behind us, but after waiting for another hour at the base of the climb, there weren't any more new climbers.

I heard a familiar laugh above from us.  I knew that it was Adrian.  We couldn't see them, but they were somewhere still on the first pitch, one of the harder pitches.   After a bit later, I saw Carlos, leading up a chimney with very little protection.  He moved up slowly and carefully.

Then suddenly, we heard a struggling sound from Carlos.
Then sound of fear as if he was slipping.
Ahhhhh!  He yelled as he took a lead fall down the chimney, with a lot of metal clanking noise along with it.
An extremely discouraging noise to any climber.

If I heard the story right, Carlos was caught by his own backpack and a nut that he placed way way below him.  Lucky guy.

This was around 8AM, an hour after we had gotten to the base of the climb.  We found out that Team Biskrem was Party No. 3, which means that there are still at least two parties between us and them.  And that Carlos was still struggling at the first pitch.

After some discussions with Max, we decided to retreat.  We probably would only get to start climbing at 9AM at the earliest, and there are 13 pitches.  In the best scenario, we would top out at around 5PM or 6PM.  But if there was any chance that we have to wait for a slow party above us, we would definitely top out in the dark.  The guide book made the descent sound really horrific, so we really didn't want to hike down El Cap in the dark.

It was an emotional retreat, considering what we went through earlier that morning.  Later on that day, we went to climb Super Slide.  But both of our hearts were just not there.  It did not satisfy our desire to do a more epic climb.

That night, we heard from Team Biskrem about their day on E. Butt.  It sounded really intense and much harder than the other E. Butt we had done just three days before.  They looked exhausted.

Photo of Carlos by http://www.alexandrebuisse.org/ 

Frustrated with not being able to climb E. Butt, we tried to see what the weather conditions were like for Snake Dike in the next few days.  Chance of thunderstorms, no good.  But do we want to be struck by lightning?  Another disappointment.  We really couldn't think of any other climb with 10+ pitches that was at the same level on such a short notice.

For the remainder of the trip, we continued climbing a few pitches here and there.
We will have to wait for the next trip to do the other E. Butt and Snake Dike.

One week is really not long enough in the valley!

We'll be back, East Buttress.

We survived Yosemite! - Part 3

I swear that I will eventually finish this trip report.  This will be Part 3 of 4 parts. - RM

*  *  *  *  *  *

I woke up the next day with really sore quads.  For some reasons, that is always the first part to go on my body.  It's either the descent or the ascent.   Definitely not from climbing, but climbing 1100 ft. in vertical distance was definitely the longest route that I have ever done.  The other climb that was close to that was Moby Grape on Cannon.  

Max was not affected by the previous day like I was.  He was ready for more adventures.  After some negotiation, I told him that I can climb at most 5 pitches on my rest day, although I did not feel like leading.  Fine by him, since he LOVES to lead all the time anyways.  It's amazing how climbing 5 pitches can be a rest day out here in Yosemite, because everything is so much larger in scale.  That would be like going all the way up to the top of Cathedral in N. Conway!  

Nothing too strenuous, easy day with 5 pitches.  Right?  

Let's go do Central Pillar of Frenzy, it's 5.9 and only 5 pitches.  Said Max.  

I knew that was a 5-star climb, and that Mark Synnott had also recommended that climb when I took the self rescue class.

It was not a rest day climb for me.  Frenzy was probably one of the most strenuous 5.9 I have ever climbed.  Totally Yosemite style, and totally sandbag.  Ask anyone that has tried it.  Especially climbers that are climbing close to their limit at that grade.  

What makes it special, is the first pitch.  It sets the tone for the rest of the climb.  At least two other people that climbed the route has told me that they could not wait to get off the climb.  As much as I enjoyed following it, I also felt somewhat that way.  

So, back to the first pitch...

It's an awkward, somewhat polished dihedral that turns into a bit of a chimney of some sort.  Max went up the climb and got stuck at the crux for a while before figuring out the beta (very unusual for him).  It was just not that fun.  

Then I followed up.  There were already several parties waiting for us to go up, but we got lucky and were party #2.  As I mentioned before, whenever there are parties right behind me, I get somewhat stressed and feel like I need to climb faster.  Either that or I just didn't wake up from my morning coffee yet. 

As I got to the middle portion of the dihedral where there is some semi-chimney, I struggled my way up and tried to wedge my ass on part of the corner.  When I did that, something slipped out of my harness and started tumbling down the climb.

ROCK!  Someone yelled.  But it was not the rock.  It was Max's camera that I forgot to sling onto my harness.  It bounced off he rock and the lens broke into a million pieces.  Max was pissed at my inability to take care of the camera and I was also pretty annoyed that I was not as attentive.  Needless to say, I do not have any photos to put on this entry.  Luckily, Aaron had an extra camera, so Max was able to take more photos after the mass camera destruction.

Don't worry, I bought insurance from Best Buy, so we're good.  He later told me.  It made me feel much better because that camera was relatively new.  I guess he knew that one day, I was going to be that person that drops his camera 50 feet down the cliff.  

I'm not finished yet.  With the dropping, that is.  

After being a bit frazzled from the camera destruction, I fumbled a bit when I was cleaning the pros.  I must have not clipped one of the draws completely back on my harness, and it flew down the cliff (again) as the people below us yell ROCK once again.  Payback time for dropping my No. 1 C3 the day before (not).

I swear, the people below us kept their distance after that.  We didn't really see them until we were on Pitch 3.  

The rest of the climb was amazing.  P2 had a beautiful, sustained thin hand then finger crack.  P3 had a big roof then some insanely large offwidth.  It's one of those pitches that you don't think would be that hard after the BIG roof, but then you go above it and realize that there is a lot more.  

Max ran that pitch OUT.  That's because he is that bad ass, but also because he had already used his best pieces of pro below the roof.  Lucky for him, there was a booty 4 or 5 stuck in the offwidth, and so he was able to clip his rope onto that.  Brian from Team Weneedananny climbed it a few days later and told us that he kept his #4 or #5 and just kept sliding it up.

P4 was a beautiful fist crack.  Also very sustained all the way up.  

P5, like a great symphony, wraps the whole theme of the climb up and has a mixture of everything from the first four pitches.  

The climb had a great view of the El Cap Meadows and the Captain himself.  I was relieved to have finished the climb, and wished that I was less tense than I was.  It was a lot of struggle for me, but definitely worth it.

The following day, we were both tired, and actually took a real rest day and went hiking at the Lower Falls.  

I will come back for you again Central Pillar of Frenzy.  Next time, I know what to expect from you.

to be continued...

We survived Yosemite! - Part 2

One third of Team Minivan woke up at 5AM in the dark to get ready for the E. Buttress.  The other four members of the team were going to do Royal Arches that day, also a huge climbing day for them.

The funny thing is, I normally would have a hard time getting up that early to do anything.  But to get up early to do something you are so excited about?  It was much easier.

Team Biskrem came by to pick Max and I up.  The approach was extremely familiar from last year, except that this time we are in a car instead of hiking.  I'm still not sure what we were thinking of back then.  But no matter.

We hiked up this talus field to get to the start of the climb.  The rocks were a bit loose, but not too bad.  As we try to make it up as fast as we can with our headlamps, we noticed two other guys hiking up much faster than we were.  They looked like they knew where they were going, cutting to the right.

Shit.  I think they are heading towards the East Buttress as well!

They quickly disappeared into the woods on the right of the talus field.  We tried to pick up our pace so that no one else behind us would pass us.

After getting a bit lost, we eventually found the start of the climb.  There were already at least two parties ahead of us.  And actually two more parties behind us as well.  It was just like Nutcracker again, except that it is not even 7 in the morning.  The last party that got there decided after a while that they did not want to wait for the climb with so many people ahead of them.  So they wished us a great day and hiked back.

As the sun came up, we could see El Cap across the valley from where we were, with sunlight shining on the dawn wall.  The weather forecast was great for that day, and we were grateful for it.

photo by Max

Team Biskrem went ahead of us with the intention of linking some of the pitches together with their 70m rope.  We had a 60m so we followed behind them in shorter pitches.  The first pitch was an easy pitch, and I gladly volunteered to lead the start.  Lucky for me, one of the parties ahead of us had taken a morning dump on the first belay ledge.   Not even covered by anything, just wide open.  Come on people, that is just disgusting.  At least put a few leaves on top of it.  I belayed Max up, then also belayed him as he lead up the next pitch.  I hung out at that pitch for WAY too long.

Another party near us on the 10c pitch
 - photo by Carlos

Beyond that, the next few pitches were amazing.  Lots of great cracks - some of them I found relatively strenuous.  I think a lot of it was also quite mental for me since this climb was a lot more exposed than Nutcracker.  I might have also thought that it was so because we were doing so many pitches so fast.  Because we were under time pressure to get to the top (with parties below and the fear of topping out in the dark), Max lead most of the pitches afterwards. We moved in a relatively efficient manner up the climbs.

There was a 5.10c bolted pitch that was busy when the four of us go there, so Carlos decided to pass them on the 10a variation.  It turned out to be a great decision since the following pitch was an amazing 5.9 roof that we wouldn't have otherwise got to do.

Carlos at the 5.10a variation pitch - photo by Adrian

During this entire time, I was the only woman climbing on the route (out of about 10 people).  So I was surprised when I heard some female voices down below us.  I looked down and noticed that they were climbing relatively quickly.  They had started the climb at around noon, and by the time we were on the last pitch at around 4PM or so, they were right behind us.  It turns out the two women were simulclimbing, which means that they were very confident at that grade (and super strong!)  It was extremely inspiring to watch them climb.  I know I would never ever be that hard core, but at least it's good to see that there are women out there kicking ass!

the descent - photo by Carlos

The descent required some unroped 4th class climbing upward before heading down to a dramatic gully.   After that, it was three rappels down.  We had lost Team Biskrem on the last few pitches because we were stuck behind the two Brits that were ahead of us (the ones that had passed us on the approach earlier that morning).  When we finally found them again on the descent, they were really thirsty and begged us for water.  Team Minivan apparently just don't have the habit of drinking water or eating, so we had both to offer.  

We decided to forgive the two Brits for passing us and let them rappel down on our rope, though the two women found them a bit rude as well and were reluctant to let them use the same rope.  

The gully was pretty narrow at first and it sounded like we were talking in an old cathedral.  Our voices reverberated through the gully and beyond.  At the end of the day, all the tension dissolved and everyone was relieved to be descending in daylight.  

When we almost reached the bottom of the descent, we noticed that the YOSAR helicopter was flying around the Nose of the El Cap.  The helicopter noise filled up the valley, as we watched intensely on what they were trying to do from across.  

After returning from the trip, we found out that YOSAR had done an incredible rescue where the helicopter flew extremely close to the cliff to save two Austrians.  The leader had taken a fall and severed his thumb on a sling that was wrapped around.  Lucky for him, the detached thumb landed on the belayer's ledge.  The helicopter was so tiny that we could barely see it on El Cap.  Here is the full report from YOSAR, definitely worth reading.  RESPECT for YOSAR!

Following our successful day, we celebrated with pizzas at Curry Village.  It was the best food EVER!

By the end of the week though, we were so sick and tired of eating pizzas.  And I almost overdozed on PB+J.

to be continued...

  

We survived Yosemite! - Part 1

photo by Carlos

I've been back from Yosemite for a week and a half.  It's tough to be back after being in the valley for just a little bit over a week.  I cannot imagine how difficult it is to adjust back to normal life if I stayed any longer.  But I did want to stay longer.  It's just that amazing of a place.

I wanted to remember as much as I could, so I got myself a journal to write everything down at the end of the day.  The thing is, I can't seem to find the journal in the apartment anymore.  It's strange how that works.  It doesn't matter though, because it feels like everything just happened yesterday.

It's going to a long post.  More realistically, a series of posts.  So read on if you have time... let the adventure begin!

* * * * * * 

photo by Keith

Team Minivan consisted of the same characters as last year: Keith, Aaron, Kristian, Carrie, Max and I.  Many of you may remember that our trip to the valley last year was an emotional disaster because Mother Nature wouldn't cooperate and it rained and even hailed while we were there.  We cried and sobbed as we left the valley in search of dry rocks 8 hours away in Joshua Tree.  

Undeterred by the mishap last year, we set our goal of going to the valley again this fall.  After all, what are the chances of having bad luck two years in a row?

The sky was cloudy the first day that we arrived in the valley from San Francisco.  

The entire time, we kept our spirits up and told ourselves that the overcast is just temporary.  No one wanted to hear anything discouraging at the time.  So we avoided the topic of weather our entire way into the valley.  I put my headphones on and tried to just enjoy my music and get psyched about climbing.

It started drizzling in the afternoon.

Then rain.  

Fuck, not again, I thought.  But I didn't say anything.

It's okay, we knew that there is going to be 20% chance of rain.  Aaron said to the group in a very calm voice.  As the guy that booked the camp site and car, he felt responsible for keeping all of us in good spirit.  Having 6 adults in the same minivan is tough.

* * * * * * 

Team Biskrem must have arrived in the valley around the same time from San Francisco.  Because this is one of the first photos that Adrian took of Carlos.

Who said it never rains in Yosemite???? - photo by Adrian

I love it.  They still tried to go climbing even though it's raining.  That crazy white dude and his sherpa.*

* When Adrian and Carlos went to Bugaboos last year, one of the guys climbing asked Adrian (who is white) whether Carlos was his sherpa.  Come on, people.  So since then, Carlos is the sherpa.

For the rest of the trip, sherpa Carlos along with his master Adrian would send a lot of amazing 5-star classics in the valley.  We were lucky to witness some of these ascents.

* * * * * * 

Team Weneedananny also came and joined us in the valley.  Yes you read it right, Brian and Nancy brought their baby and super-nanny Yvonne along.  It was Yvonne's first time camping, along with baby Autumn.  Thumbs up to Team Weneedananny!  They would get up at 5AM so that they can climb early in the morning and come back for Autumn by around noon to spend time with her.  It's tough being parents, but they make it work and still climb!

photo by Keith

* * * * * * 

As I mentioned in a previous post, Max and I had a few climbs on our tick list.  The main climb that we really wanted to do was the East Buttress of Middle Cathedral.  After talking to Carlos and Adrian, we found out that they were also interested in doing the same climb, so we planned to climb E. Buttress on the same day and reduce the number of ropes both parties need to bring.  They also got us really psyched when they mentioned that we should also do the East Buttress of El Cap with them.  

If we do both E. Butts and also Snake Dike, then we can say that we climbed three major peaks in the valley!  Said Max with a lot of excitement.  I was really looking forward to the long days of climbing as well.  After all, that's what we are here for.  Every day should be an epic day!

To warm-up on something a bit shorter, we hit the classic 5-star Nutcracker on the first day.  It was a nice sunny day following the rainy one, so the climb was packed with at least 5 parties.  It made me a bit nervous and not as relaxed to climb.  Having so many people all around trying to summit the same peak on the same route can be stressful at times.  I cannot imagine what it's like to summit Everest, where some parties are going to be slower and the faster parties trying to pass you.  Nevertheless, it was a great crack climb.  Max got to lead all the fun pitches, and I did one of the easier pitch.  

Feeling a bit cheated by that deal, I wanted to make up for the lack of leading by going up After Six.  Not paying real attention to the start of the climb (typical), I lead up After Seven instead.  The crack just looked a lot more inviting than the dihedral, so I'm glad that I did After Seven instead.  I'm not sure how After Seven is counted as 6 pitches, but we ended up doing it in 4 pitches.  In fact, I was trying to do it in 3 pitches... I kept going after what I thought was the end of first pitch, and as I was continuing up on a more sustained section, I was suddenly stopped by my rope.  Being the queen of drag from my experiences at the Gunks, I thought that was the problem initially.  I tried to pull the rope up real hard.  

YOU HAVE NO MORE ROPE! Max shouted.  

Apparently he already tried to tell me earlier but I didn't hear him.  

Whoops.  Had to set up a hanging belay.

At the end of the first day, we actually did 11 pitches.  So much for a warm up day!

The following day, we would plan to do the East Buttress of Middle Cathedral.  Also 11 pitches, but more difficult than the 11 pitches we did the day before.  Team Biskrem came by our campsite to plan out the meeting time so that we can start the climb together.  We were going to be picked up at around 5:30AM for the adventure. 

We went to bed early in preparation for the big day.  Max was studying the topo like a bible.  

I was not looking forward to the ascent and the descent, which is the same as the one we did last year for the Regular Route of Higher Cathedral Spire.  

At least this time, I knew what to expect.  I was ready.

to be continued...

self help

No, I'm not talking about AA sessions or visiting the shrink here.  I'm talking about learning how to get myself out of a tough situations while climbing.  (Perhaps I need some other forms of help as well, but that should be discussed in another post, another day).

Max is starting to push himself on trad closer to his real climbing limit.  Two weekends ago at Cathedral he and Andreas went up Airation and I don't think I have ever heard Max make so much desperate noises before.  I was too tired to try it on TR, but I really didn't want to TRonsight it anyways.

With him pushing closer to his limit, I worry.  Not because I do not believe in his climbing abilities.  I think he is a SOLID climber.  But it never hurts to learn things that can prevent disasters from happening. The chance of me belaying him while he is climbing at his limit?  Extremely high.

So when the opportunity came through MITOC to take a self-rescue course with Mark Synnott, I signed up immediately.  How is it possible, that after climbing for all these years, that I never thought about taking this class?  I encourage any trad climbers to take it, because you just never know when you may need the skills.

We spent the whole weekend working on the basics, such as the munter-mule hitch, which looks extremely difficult in the book that I have.  But once we tried it a few times at the crag, it made a lot more sense.  I tied the hitches repeatedly until the muscle-memory kicked in.  Hopefully it will stay there as I go on my next adventure this afternoon to Yosemite!

It's going to be a big group of 10 climbers.  I think we are going to have a blast in the valley.  Carlos and Adrian will join the Eastcoasters (A1, Keith, Kristian, Carrie, Max, and I).  Brian and Nancy from SF will also climb part of the week.  Hopefully the weather will be much better than last year, so that we can try all the climbs on our tick list.  I think we are hopeful and there are lots of excitement with all the emails going around.

As A1 says on FB, "Even if we have to do Royal Arches 8 days in a row we're getting it"  
I hope that you guys can do it this time - in a day!

The best part, is to be away from it all and just focus on one thing and only one.  Climbing!

See you all later.

message in a cookie

While getting my coffee this morning, I found a fortune cookie message pinned on the bulletin board at the office kitchen.  I've always enjoyed opening fortune cookies.  Some of the messages are ridiculously boring, but sometimes you get some that are enlightening.

Four basic premises of writing: clarity, brevity, simplicity, and humanity
This one was strange for a fortune cookie, but totally true.

Be patient: in time, even an egg will walk
Very appropriate message for me, often the impatient one.

I used to collect all the messages that I liked (and discard the ones I didn't, ha). I would stick them around my work computer monitor.  I'm not sure when I stopped putting them up, but I kind of miss having them around.  Perhaps I should start it again, now that I have wide-screen monitors at my desk and more borders to paste the message.  When I see these the messages, they remind me to keep smiling and do what I love to do.

Meaningless jobs

While the western economy is shrinking and unemployment rates are rising, I am noticing a new trend among people in their 30s.  They are quitting their jobs.  Leaving jobs they have worked at for many years in pursuit of something else.  Generally something more meaningful, whether it pays or not becomes secondary.  It was an interesting phenomenon to me, but not surprising.  I believe that they are often in their 30s because that's when they start to have some money saved up and don't really need to depend their monthly paycheck to survive.

While I do not have the luxury of doing so due to my foreign status, I do enjoy reading about other people's transformations and voyages through their blogs and posts on FB.

The Economist last week talked about the difficulty of companies retaining the most talented in their workforce.  The article said that the gap between the most talented and the rest of the population is widening, including their compensation.  So while everyone else is stressed out about the downturn, these highly desirable workers are being aggressively sought after.

Why makes them so sought after?  And why are there so few of them?

Some say that many of the important innovations and decisions are made by a small percentage of people.  But these people are constantly generating new ideas that are viral and spreading to the rest of he population.

Not that long ago I came across an article by Douglas Rushkoff that someone posted on Facebook about whether or not the jobs we know today are obsolete.  Before reading about this guy, I had always thought that Malcolm Gladwell was the one that came up with the term viral media.  Regardless of who came up with the idea first, both had in my humble opinion some thought-provoking messages about how information is passed in our world, as well as who gets ahead.

The Economist last week referenced the Rushkoff article and counter-argued that Mr. Rushkoff is not exactly correct.  Instead of stating that there is simply not as many jobs to go around for everyone, that the definition of a job is evolving.

As America moves from being an industrialized country to a more service-based industry, the population needs to evolve with the job demand.  But it is not doing so quick enough.  It is also difficult (or impossible) to reorient the entire workforce and retrain them to think and work differently.

I read an article that divided the typical white collar job into three main categories, but for some reason I can't find it anymore (bad memory).  But the general idea of it is that there are three tiers of white collar jobs: the ones that do repetitive work that can be replaced by machines; the ones that do somewhat repetitive tasks that cannot be replaced by machines but can be replaced by someone else cheaper in another country; and the third is someone that has to constantly create new things or solve different problems.

Creativity, is the last hope of the west to stay ahead of China or any other emerging countries.  Without it, we are more expensive and not necessarily better.  This is also what I found when I went to China earlier this year.  Creative people are hard to retain, because once they get bored at a job, or find the job meaningless, then they move on.  But it is what every company wants, someone who is able to influence and create new ideas to make the company stand out among the rest.

The other message from all this, is that the creative folks are the ones that can control their path.  You want to work remotely?  Fine.  You want to take time off to do something else?  Fine.  You want to spend your time at work thinking about new things rather than doing menial tasks?  Fine.  There is so much leverage on their end to make the relationship work with their employers as long as they want to.

It's up to you.

Are you doing something meaningful?

memories of an epic day

I know it's been long overdue for me to write here.  In case you didn't notice, I changed the title of this blog to the unconventional life instead of the the year.  I forgot who told me to change it, but thank you very much for the suggestion.  I got the confirmation over here at work that the project we were working on in China is not going to continue.  They haven't paid up, and we should have made them pay first anyways.  So... my unconventional year became the unconventional half-year.  I am now back in the Boston area permanently.  At least for now.

I am going to continue to write!  Ever since grade school, I've been insecure about my writing skills in English.  I loathed writing essays and always got marginal marks on them.  Perhaps it took me a while to really get a knack of expressing myself comfortably in English.  But I've gotten a lot of encouragement since I started writing here and so I will keep going with this project of mine.

So read on!

I'm pretty much back to my old routine.  Except that for the moment I'm on climbing overdrive, since a bunch of us are going to be at Yosemite at the end of this month for a whole week!  I can't wait for it, but at the same time I feel somewhat unprepared mentally.  Climbing single pitch climbs in China has made me weak both inside and outside, and I'm already a wuss when it comes to the mental department anyways.

As much as I say that, we still set our goals pretty high.  Some of the climbs that we are planning to do include the uber-classics Snake Dike, After Six, After Seven, and the Nutcracker.  Another route that we might also try is the East Buttress at Middle Cathedral.

And here is a photo Max took of one of the routes we want to do, Crested Jewel.  It is, apparently, the best climb of its type on this planet.

A 5-star rating is getting us pretty excited.  1000' of rock climbing, yum.  It's going to be a long day, but probably not as long as last year's epic day we had at the Higher Cathedral Spire.  


Probably every trad climber has had some form of epic climbing experience, but it's really hard to define the term.  It's like being pregnant and giving birth (I can't think of a better example, sorry).  Only someone else who has experienced it would really understand what you have gone through.

So what would count as an epic day?

I try to block it out of my memory, but I think it's worth telling the story here once, so people know how EPIC it really was.

Last September, it rained at Yosemite and the forecast didn't look so good for the whole week.  So the six of us packed up our stuff in the minivan and went to Joshua Tree.  There was a massive climbing exodus from Yosemite to J-Tree.

After four days of beautiful sun and climbing in the desert, our hearts were itching again as we heard that Yosemite stopped raining.  There was a mutiny among the group and we eventually all agreed to go back to Yosemite to climb for a day.  Yes, ONE day.  Then drive back to SFO.

Since we were in J-Tree, Max and I thought it would be a great idea to separate from the group and go visit Caty and Seb in Pasadena.  It's really only about a 3-hour drive, not a big deal, right?

After climbing for a whole day at J-Tree, we drove to Pasadena and had dinner with our friends until 11PM.  We were both pretty tired, but then we had to drive back to Yosemite to go climbing the next day.  Max drove and I tried to stay awake until about 2AM or so, where he and I were both completely exhausted and pulled over at a hospital parking lot in Fresno.  It was super sketchy, but at least there were other cars in the parking lot so no one was going to come over and check what we were doing in an empty parking lot.  We leaned the seats back and pulled out our sleeping bag for a nap.

Max somehow woke up at dawn, and decided to start driving again.  It must have been the excitement of  Yosemite.  It kept him going.  I couldn't even open my eyes for the next few hours.  I only woke up after we hit the southern part of the national park, with the winding road tossed me gently to the left and right on my seat.

By 8AM, we arrived at the campsite and immediately started heading towards the start of the climb with our gear.  I think our judgement by then was already somewhat impaired.  Instead of taking the bus that runs around the park, we walked for about 2 hours on flat terrain to get to where we wanted to go.  Only then did the approach start, which took us another 2 hours or so.

We reached the base of the climb at around 12:30PM, and luckily there was no wait for us to get started.  There was only one party above us, the they were well ahead.  The climb started out on an easy pitch that I lead, and the second pitch was supposed to be the hardest pitch.  Max gladly volunteered to lead that pitch.

As Max got to the crux section, there was a big roof with a vertical crack following the contour of the roof.  He really struggled on it, and eventually made it through the roof and set up his anchor for me to follow up.

When I came up to the climb, he said in a very soft voice,
Hey, I have something to tell you.

At the time, I thought he was going to comment on how hot the two girls that climbed before us were.  So I wasn't really paying attention.

I dislocated my shoulder while trying to pull the move at the crux, he said.

You what?  
Yeah I popped it back, he said calmly.

I instantly got alarmed and said that we should go back down.  Instead of agreeing with me, he said loudly, No!  Let's get the fuck up to the top!

I swear, Max was experiencing summit fever, and we weren't even really high up.
If I did think that my life would have been threatened, I would have told him to go down.  But we really only had three more pitches to climb, and I didn't think that it was going to be a big deal.

I lead the next pitch, and Max still wanted to lead the next two pitches (which was a good idea in the end anyways).  He did fine, the shoulder didn't pop back out.  But this is how tired he looked like when we got to the summit.

El Cap behind!

So you think that's the end of the story, right?  Wrong!

By the time we got to the summit, we spent some time there and the sun was setting into the mountains.  After a few raps, we were descending down on the taluses in the dark with our headlamps.  The rocks were a bit damp and slimy from a light rain, and I was sliding down on my ass half of the time.  

Eventually, we reached the road where the busses would come around.  But none came to us.  We called the others to come and pick us up but they were tired and already eating at the pizza place.  So we started walking again, until some Yosemite old timer driving a white pick-up truck came by and asked us if we wanted a ride.  We were more than grateful, and shook his hand to introduce ourselves.  His hand was so callused, you can tell that he has been climbing his entire life.  He was probably somebody famous in the valley, but we didn't know who he was.  Which was a shame.

When we got dropped off, we wanted to eat and then shower.  I really can't remember at that point because I was beyond exhaustion.  We grabbed the car to drive to the campsite to grab our toiletries, but made the wrong turn (everything is one way) and ended up in a very long loop that took us 30 minutes to get back to where we started.

I started crying at that point, because we couldn't even really explain to the others what we wanted to do and how we ended up on a 30-minute detour.  But no tears really came out because I was so dehydrated and too tired to cry.  We just wanted some food in our system, take a shower, then go to sleep.

Eventually, at around 11PM or so, we got some food in our system.  Showered.  Sunk into our sleeping bags and passed out instantly.

That was probably the longest 24 hours of my life.

I think we are going to be just fine this year and hopefully be more rested and prepared ;)

you got to be somewhere.

Even if it is being stuck at the airport for 7 hours;
or on a boat in the rain;
or on an island in the Caribbean.

Here is a little bit about one of my favorite persons in this world.

Tyler and Sarah

I heard the expression last weekend while attending my dear friends Sarah and Tyler's wedding in Maryland.  Her dad made a small speech during their lovely Quaker wedding ceremony about the origin of this expression, and how Sarah had used it since then.  He said that  he first heard it decades ago while stuck on a boat in the rain that he knew that it was profound.  But he didn't really know what it meant at the time.  He just knew that it was profound.  He said it often to his family, and now it's in the family. 

When Sarah was in the Dominican Republic for several years, at times she probably felt that time went by really slowly.  She was working with HIV patients, specifically mothers and their children that were infected.  It was difficult and emotional work.  Then something happened.  She met Tyler while working at the hospital.  It changed her life.

She sent her parents a postcard with a photo of Tyler and her, and at the back it just said, "You got to be somewhere."
When her parents saw that post card, they knew right away what it meant.

After the wedding, a bunch of us were stuck at BWI for 6-7 hours due to really bad storms.  Even the bride and groom were there, as they are heading up to Acadia for their honeymoon.  It was great to be able to hang out with them again, and time passed by relatively quickly at the airport as we read through every single magazine we owned and played crossword puzzles as a group.  Then the flight got delayed again, and then again..  We were all somewhat frustrated.  But then Sarah turned around and gave me a big smile and said, "you got to be somewhere!"

Always the optimist, Sarah.  Always willing give it all, no matter how many obstacles may be in front of you.  Always willing to give second chances because you believe that it will get better.  Always with a purpose.  That's what makes you so special.  My true inspiration.  Love you!

Her dad baked 10 pecan pies! 

Fresh tomatoes from the local farm

back on crack

J-crack, Lumpy Ridge, Rocky Mountain NP - photo by Carlos

I want to say this upfront: coming back to the United States is great.  I missed all my friends, my coworkers, and all my favorite places.  Nowhere else are you going to find a country where almost everyone is an immigrant from somewhere else.  Truly a hodgepodge of nationalities and cultures.  I really didn't appreciate the diversity until I went to China this last time.  I missed the chaos shopping at Market Basket.  A cup of cappuccino at Simon's.  A nice bowl of authentic pho made by Vietnamese.  And a well run office!

Most important of all of this, is that I'm back on crack!  And I love it.  Hand cracks and finger crack and toe jams.  I almost forgot how to do it because I had been doing face climbs for the last two months.  It had been a while since I climbed multi-pitch trad climbs that it felt like the first time again.  It's like falling in love for the first time.

I stopped by Denver on my way back to Boston from Asia to go do some more climbing with Carlos.  The climbing at Eldorado was so amazing two months prior that I was really looking forward to going back to Colorado for more climbing. Carlos and I went to Lumpy Ridge at Rocky Mountain and climbed the 4-pitch J Crack.  It was a lot of fun, and included a scary (for Carlos) slabby 10a pitch.  I fell back in love with climbing instantly.  Alright, alright, I'll admit it.  It wasn't just for the climbing.  I was also really looking forward to seeing Carlos again.

Perhaps both of our expectations were too high of each other.  Perhaps it was just not meant to be. Within three days of being together, we both got somewhat sick of each other.  Incompatible is the best word to describe the situation.  I was surprised, but it was mutual.  For the last two months in China I had mentally carved the days down on my imaginary wall as if I was imprisoned in another country, waiting for my release date.  But once I got released, I couldn't get back into society and behave like a normal human being.  I was having fun in China, and worked hard, but it still felt somewhat trapped.  I didn't expect that I would have a real bad case of reverse culture shock.

I was so deeply engrossed in my work adventures in China this trip, that I had a hard time snapping back to my old self.  I also worked in isolation most of my the time in China, thinking deeply about every step of my work.  I could not loosen up, and I was still constantly thinking about my work.  What did I accomplish, what did I experience, what could be better, and so on.  I had temporary amnesia and forgot how I used to be.

I forgot to have fun.  I really did.

Coming back to work in Cambridge, I felt a similar sense of confusion.  I was glad to be back and I looked so relaxed that I probably didn't look like I'm working that hard.  The truth is, my experience in China has pushed me to a different level of stress tolerance.  I also felt some frustration: why couldn't ___ understand how I feel?  Can they be a bit more sympathetic?  Do you know how hard I worked over there?

In time, the shock will wear off.  I will be back to my old self.  Going back to Metrorock was probably the most familiar to me.  I truly felt like I was home, more than going back to my apartment.  But I have learned new things about me, new experiences, and my limits.

As my favorite travel blogger Chris G. said:

There’s only one option: you must learn to keep some of the memories in your own heart. This is hard to do, because you want to share everything with the people you love… but even as you tell the stories, you realize there’s an unresolvable gap between an experience and its retelling.

It’s easy to begin doubting yourself, wondering if life on the other side was really that interesting, or if things really happened the way you imagine them now. Doubt your doubts! What happened was real; it just can’t always be passed on to people who weren’t there.

It's like many of our rock climbing experiences.  You will never be able to explain to a non-climber or even sometimes a fellow rock climber what adventures you had the weekend prior.  Because it is difficult to retell your whole experience to them, and they probably won't understand either.

But you know, that what you had was precious, and that memory will always be yours to cherish.

a classic beauty

Probably by now you figured out one of my other obsessions.  Old-fashioned bikes!  Look at this beauty I found in Shanghai.  It's a remake of an old model, all brand new and clean.  I want it!  Oh wait, I already have one that looks almost identical to this one.  But this one has a basket.  I think I'm going to add a basket to mine... maybe even a leather saddle (although I've been told they are very uncomfortable).

Look at the hand breaks... love it!  And the little old-fashioned bike plate from back in the days!  Love love love.  Can't wait to ride my bike when I get back to Boston.

See you Boston folks on August 8th!

RM

Watch out, FedEx

Delivery electric bike

I've been meaning to write a post about all the interesting bicycles that I saw in Beijing.  Time slipped by so fast, and I never got to do it.  Since I arrived at the airport about 6 hours early due to my own stupidity, I have a lot of free time all of a sudden.  And by the way, just to confuse you some more, I'm actually at the Taipei airport, and not the Beijing one.  I stayed at a different hostel this time in Taipei, called Homey Hostel.  The owners of this hostel are the most incredible sibling pair that I've met.  Around my age and became orphans in their late teens/early 20s, their life story could really win an Oscar.  I feel lucky to have met them, and I wish them the best in their new life as hostel owners!

Now about these Chinese bikes.  I saw the most entertaining list of businesses on bikes, and wish to share them with you bike lovers.  Perhaps the photos will inspire you to have your own businesses on bikes (or not).

bargaining on notebook prices

the hosiery lady

window curtains

water delivery

the stinky guy (tofu)

the fruit guy

My favorite of all of them, is the bicycle repair guy.  This guy is THE MAN.  He spends his entire day downstairs of my Beijing apartment, sleeping in a minivan.  His repair setup is pretty amazing.  He is not the most honest guy (he's ripped me off once making a set keys), but his bike repair setup is still pretty amazing.  I will miss you, Mr. Bike Guy.

serious red carpet treatment!

the bike repair guy (in blue) on a hot day

bittersweet departure

After nearly 6 months of traveling back and forth to Beijing, my work here is coming to a temporary halt.  I'm moving back to Boston.  The project in China is stalling and my boss felt that there is no point of living in Beijing.  I agree with him, and have once complained about the lower quality of life over here.  Now that I have a chance to go back and live in Boston, I feel some regrets for leaving. 

Call me crazy, call me mad.  But the city was starting to grow on me in many ways.  I've met some great friends, mostly from the climbing community, but also some colleagues.  I'm disappointed that the work part didn't pan out as smoothly as I had expected, but I am not giving up.  I'm moving one step back right now, but it will go on.  When I found out about my early departure, I really regretted not visiting all the places on my tick list.  I fear that the longer I wait to visit some of the more remote places, that it will become less and less like old China.  The new China is evolving fast, and I fear that slowly the places I would enjoy visiting would disappear.

I went to Shanghai recently for work, and stumbled upon an old community similar to Beijing hutongs.  It was tucked quietly behind the Fifth Ave. of Shanghai, West Nanjing Road.  Zhang Yuan was once a bustling community in the early 1900s, owned by Mr. Zhang.  Through the years, it has lost its glory and faded into the background.  The architecture inside this community varied door to door, unlike most of the newer housing development.  A walk within the community brought me back in time.  Not only is the pace slower, but the traffic noise of Shanghai seems to disappear as well.

As one of my newly made friends said to me when he found out that I was leaving, "The end of one road is also the beginning of a new one that leads somewhere else.  The climbing community in Beijing will always welcome you!" 

Goodbye China.  For now.  I know my love affair with you is not over yet.

What's it going to be then, eh?

It's been raining here in Beijing as if the end of the world is coming.  Huge thunderstorms bang and clank, along with a pissload of downpour within a short period of time.  Sometimes it happens so fast, I get lucky and completely misses the event while I ride the subway.  This weekend, I wasn't so lucky.  It rained enough that I couldn't go outside to climb, which was a shame.  Matt was going to take Maggie and I trad climbing, which would have been plenty of fun since I was so sick of climbing sport (there, I said it). 

What's it going to be then, eh?

I am given no choice but to accept the urban life and all its temptations.  Sometimes this is a good thing.  As I spend more time alone or in small groups out in nature, I am farther removed from the rest of the society.  I am not sure when this switch happened, as I have always been a relatively urban person.  Most of the time these days, I don't generally care about how I look or wear, unless I'm going out for work or for a special event.  Other than climbing, food, and traveling, I really don't spend too much on anything else.

Don't get me wrong, I do like to shop for nice things once in a while too, and I toggle these days between buying Karen Millen dresses at the outlet and browsing the aisles of Goodwill.  And those of you closest to me these days know about my shoe OBSESSIONS.

I go into relapse when it comes to shoe shopping.

I'm not just talking about ladies shoes here.  I'm also talking about rock climbing shoes.   I am THAT crazy shoe lady, I know.  I can talk and analyze about shoes all day.

If you don't want to hear about shoes, don't read the rest of this post.

Buy low, get high
 
Here is a little crazy fact about me and my climbing shoes.  I own 9 pairs.  Three different models, two of which they stopped making.

The shoe that I have been wearing the longest is the Mad Rock Mugen, a great sticky face climbing shoe.  This shoe was being pushed out by other products and were selling for $25 each.  That's cheaper than resoling.  So I bought 6 pairs of them.  Still on my 4th pair.

The other shoe that I wear often is the 5.10 Anasazi, which is also out of production.  The shoe has a nice stiff sole and is great for bouldering and edging on small footholds.  Why they would stop making them or change the model is still beyond me.  It's a really popular shoe.  People point them out when I climb in them at Baihe.  I'm that cool kid.    I bought the first pair many years ago for $45 at REI, didn't like it at first.  I grew to love it more as I bouldered more.  The other pair I got at EMS recently in the used pile (worn once) for $35.

The last pair I have is La Sportiva Muira, also a popular shoe and a relatively new model.  It's a very comfy lace-up and I save these mostly for crack climbing.  Many people also like this shoe for sport climbing, but then you probably have to buy them a bit tighter.  Again, I got lucky and bought them on Backcountry for $80 last year.  Should have bought two but I resisted.

Buy low, sell high

Selby from etsy

I once told my coworker Tom about this story, and he stared at me like I'm some sort of alien.  He just didn't get it, and couldn't imagine that I had this hidden side.

I am obsessed with vintage shoes.  I love walking into Goodwill and looking at the shoe section.  The shoes made back in the days were made to last a much longer time, and made in the USA.  Often times they are real leather, which I would need to pay a lot for these days.  Because women love to shop for shoes and not necessarily wear them, many of the shoes donated to Goodwill were hardly worn.  Goodwill in the Boston area are a bit pricey, with shoes selling from about $5 and up. When they recognize a fancy brand, they sometimes jack up the price a lot.  When I was dating Kurt, his parents lived next to a gigantic Goodwill in Pennsylvania.  It was my favorite store, since it was clean and had an 'outlet' section.  Can you imagine, an outlet for used goods.  The shoes at the outlet section were $1.50 each.  One time I bought 20 pairs of vintage shoes.  I was ecstatic.  Kurt was HORRIFIED.

When I spot a pair of vintage shoes, I study it like a precious piece of artwork or artifact. I hold it by its heel and toe, inspecting its wear, the sole, and its last.  If I really love the shoe but it is a bit more worn on the sole, I would buy it and take it to the Davis Square cobbler and he and I would admire the shoe together and figure out how to make it look new again.  He would often say to me in his thick eastern European accent,"thiz iz a guud shu. Guud leder."  He also told me that he is retiring in three years to move back to Europe, and that his son is not interested in taking over his business.  Maybe that's my second calling.

I don't actually keep most of the shoes that I buy.  Generally, I clean them up and consign them at higher end vintage stores like Second Time Around and Poor Little Rich Girl.  I make a few extra bucks, and it feeds my thrifty-shopping habits.

Buy low, get happy!

Buying used clothes and shoes is not so acceptable in Beijing.  Once in a while, they do buy used clothes on the street for dirt cheap ($3), but the quality varies.  So I browse the new shoe section here near my house as a way to kill some free time.  Most of the shoes I found at the stores are surprisingly expensive (even for the US) and not necessarily well made.  There are a few major brands that all the ladies go to, but even on sale their shoes are priced at $60 or higher.  I might as well shop at TJ Maxx at that point.

When I was in Qingdao a few months back, I actually found a store that I really liked.  It just happens that one of the few stores they have in Beijing is right next to my house.  The shoe last they use really fits my foot, and most of the shoes are made from genuine leather and have durable soles.  The styles from this store are more conservative than the trendy shoe stores, but that was fine by me.  Perhaps it's the styles that make their prices more reasonable than the other stores, but at anywhere between $20 and $60, it was a steal for well made, brand new shoes.

I went binge shopping on shoes.  Who knows when I will be back in Beijing again.
Ladies, I'm ready for sexy shoe night when I get back to Boston!  Well, they are not all sexy shoes, but they are comfortable.  I also hope my vegan friend is not reading this...

studded sandal - 180 RMB on sale

flats with jeweled skulls, totally awesome - 250 RMB

oxford shoes with small metal studs, my favorite - 350 RMB

oxford pump with lace lace :) - 250 RMB

lambskin wrap sandal with small metal studs - 180 RMB on sale

Every shoe came with shoe storage bags, and the pumps even came with spare heel studs!  Talk about service and quality!  Call me crazy, I don't care.  I think I'm good on shoes for the next two years!

This is what happens when I don't climb.